Runeasi Running Gait Analysis - Coming Soon ...
A blog for a half marathon, I'm not reading this shite .
I don't blame you, I wouldn't read it either. I'll probably get bored writing it to be honest and give up after a week.
The week in numbers ...
Miles ran: 40.64
Gym visits: 0
Chocolate eaten: 2 pieces of Toblerone
Alcohol drunk: 1 bottle of red & 3 pints Guinness
The start of the week and I've got 4 weeks to sort my diet and exercise and lose at least half a stone to be ready for Hartlepool. I refuse to put on my Soar vests again until it fits properly and I no longer have the appearance of a sausage bursting out of its skin.
I have an ever ongoing battle with my weight, I like eating bad food, I like chocolate, I like sweets, I like cakes, I like flapjacks, I like muffins, I like brownies, I like meringues, I like cookies, I like crisps, I like chocolate spread, I like bread, I like coke, I like lemonade, I just really like stuff that's very bad for you and I like eating and drinking it all the time.
This goes a long way to explaining why I used to weigh over 18 stone.
Running got me to a normal and healthy weight but I can easily put a stone on in a week. Since Manchester I've put over half a stone on and I don't want to see fat Simon looking back at me in the mirror or worse still in race photos.
It's a Bank Holiday today so naturally I forgot and booked some appointments in. Just two in the morning and then the rest of the day doing jobs in the house and tidying, washing and cooking.
This week is also the start of my new training plan and that involves three sessions a week of core work. I have some time later to do this and plan it all out and make a stopwatch app thing with all the timings and exercises but instead have a bath and listen to Nick Cave and then fall asleep in the bath listening to Nick Cave.
Then it's 7pm and the sun is still out so I suggest to Gail we go to the pub for a drink and she naturally says yes. I am absolutely useless and sticking to any kind of plans I give myself. The problem is I like the pub and I don't like doing core exercises, if I forced myself to go to the gym it would be easier but I hate the gym and you have to pay for it and I can't imagine why I would want to pay for something I hate when I could instead pay for drinks at the pub.
Up early for work, Tuesdays are always a busy day for some reason.
Breakfast is a cup of black coffee and two satsumas, I'm on a diet if I haven't already mentioned that 14 times. I'm a creature of habit and breakfast is always either taken on the settee in the living room or out the front on my bench but it's cold this morning so the settee wins. I stick on some Nick Cave which is my morning soundtrack every day. Creature of habit, already told you this.
Then it's another black coffee and then take Murphy out for a walk. Then home and start work at 8:45 and I've got back to back appointments taking me through to half one. Grab some lunch and then I've got to dismantle all the old kitchen worktops, take out the sink and tap and hob ready for templates being down tomorrow for new ones.
You remember before Christmas when I did the kitchen ? Yeah well now it's May I'm finally getting round to getting worktops done. Slow and steady, that's how I roll. Anyway, I take out the sink, disconnect all the water and just about to remove all the sockets but decide to ring the company to double check that time they're coming as I might have time to do some of this early tomorrow instead. They're not coming tomorrow, they're coming on Thursday. I'm working all day Thursday, they can't come on Thursday.
So, I stop dismantling the kitchen.
Back to work and then off to the club for track session and some warm up miles. Legs are a little heavy from Sundays half but I'm toying with a return to B team.
Naturally I didn't go in B team, nor did I go in C team. I instead ran somewhere between the two, a bit faster than C but not as fast as B and that seems to be where I currently fall.
Then home to put the kitchen back together and have some tea.
Up at 7 for no reason because I've taken the day off because the kitchen company were coming to do the worktop.
So, I have a day off work today and they can only mean one thing, I'm going to the gym.
No of course I'm not, I mean I should be as this is the perfect day to do it but I still hate the gym and I'm desperately trying to avoid it. Instead I head out for a run, it's been raining so I leave the sunglasses at home and grab a cap and head out the door. The rain has stopped and the sun is shining so I turn and go back in and put the cap back and grab the sunglasses.
I head out along the coast for 4 miles easy and the sun almost immediately goes in and it starts raining. I can't see a bloody thing as it's overcast and my sunglasses are covered in rain drops.
Then get home and head to Whitley for a coffee and pick some things up from the shop. So far this week I've lost 2lbs and avoided chocolate, although I have had chocolate spread but that's not real chocolate and I only had a bit on a cream cracker or maybe two cream crackers and I definitely didn't eat a big spoonful to finish off the jar.
Okay, it was two spoonfuls.
Bit of work in the afternoon, bit of a settee snooze and a glass of wine to finish off the day.
Alright, for Gods sake it was 3 spoonfuls, 3 big spoonfuls of chocolate spread.
It's still not real chocolate.
I've lost a pound a day so far and haven't yet eaten any chocolate, I'm a changed man. We've already established chocolate spread doesn't count.
The plan today is an early appointment and then a threshold session and then back for more work before heading to the club for some easy miles.
Up at 7 and some Greek yoghurt and black coffee for breakfast and then in a change from the usual schedule this morning I listened to Benjamin Clementine instead of Nick Cave but then I missed Nick Cave and put him back on.
Then when it came to threshold time something weird happened and this sensible bloke suddenly appeared and told me not to go for a run, he said that my foot and calf have been sore for a couple of days and doing a long threshold session really wasn't that sensible and I should give it a miss and also miss the club session later and just take a couple of rest days.
I thanked him for his advice and took off my running gear and had some lunch and fell asleep on the settee with Murphy. That sensible Simon is a good bloke and I need to have a chat and listen to him a lot more often.
He's a good bloke.
But then in the evening I told him to get fucked and went out to do 5 miles easy before the club session and then did the club session and then came home. My foot still hurts and I died on my arse spectacularly during the session but I did have on my new Bob Marley Evo SL's with matching Jamaica socks and I looked cool as fuck. I have three pairs of matching socks, all slightly different colours combinations but all damn fine looking.
Then home for some tea and a couple of glasses of wine. I'm hoping my weight loss carries on tomorrow but I'm not hopeful after the wine and the two pieces of Toblerone I had whist watching Taskmaster.
Yeah that's right, two pieces of Toblerone. Not an entire Toblerone, not eating Toblerone until I feel sick. Nope, just two pieces because my body is a temple.
I've taken the morning off work to do some jobs, the sun is shining and it's a beautiful day. I take Murphy for a walk and then back home to sit in the sunshine and drink a coffee whilst Gail cuts the grass.
I contemplate going for a run as it's such a nice day but my foots still sore so decide to take a rest day, maybe I'll go to the gym instead ?
No.
Never the gym.
A couple of afternoon appointments and then Friday night at the kitchen table with the family, we have pizza, we have wine, we have sweets, we have chocolate and we have music. My absolute favourite part of the week.
I'm in charge of the playlist as nobody else can be trusted. We're going for an early 90's indie vibe with some funk and soul chucked in for good measure. We jump effortlessly from Happy Mondays to Stevie Wonder to Chemical Brothers and naturally to Nick Cave.
We all drink and talk and then the kids take over my playlist and it all just plummets downhill rapidly and before I know it we're listening to Pitbull, and then Shakira doing some waka waka song and and then Miley Cyrus, I mean who would ever have envisioned a future where Billy Ray was the most talented musical performer in his family.
At least I can rely on Sam and he pulls it back with some Glen Campbell and Sneaker Pimps, that's my boy.
I'm thinking I should probably look into putting the girls up for adoption.
Anybody want a 23 year old and a 17 year old ? They don't eat much, and they're both quite small so they won't take up much room. They like to be fed noodles and expect you to know the words to Shakira's waka waka song.
Up at 7:30 because Murphy is crying.
Come downstairs and he runs out the kitchen and into the living room. I walk into the kitchen to see another scene of devastation after he's been in the bin and eaten anything he could get out of it. I find an old tupperware box in his bed full of pasta, he's obviously spent ages trying to open it and couldn't and given up and just fallen asleep cuddling it instead.
Tidy the kitchen, have a cup of coffee and head out for a few miles before parkrun. It's pouring down and I'm soaked within a mile, my legs feel heavy, my foot still hurts and I can't be bothered today. I feel totally mentally and physically drained and should probably head home but then I get to parkrun and see Ben, young Mark and Brendan and have a chat and a laugh and I feel a lot better.
I lift the pace a bit for parkrun and do a nice steady 23 mins and then home for a coffee and a rice cake for breakfast. I'm on a diet, have I mentioned that?
For lunch I have two cookies in a cafe so that balances out the rice cake and I spend the rest of the day feeling sick.
They were big cookies.
Up early and sit outside in the sunshine having my coffee and toast.
Then heard out for a run, yesterday's 9 miles was a real struggle and I felt wrecked during and after it so not sure what today will bring. I decide to wear some bright pink shoes because they always cheer me up and head out along the coast.
Today's plan is up to Tynemouth and then out the other side to Shields and then loop and back to Tynemouth and home along the coast. The sun is shining, I'm wearing sunglasses and The Chemical Brothers are playing and I feel pretty good. I go through the first mile in 8:18 and the second in 8:06 and settle into a nice rhythm and keep ticking off the miles. Maybe those two cookies have fuelled me today ? Or maybe it's because I actually had a decent night's sleep ? Or maybe it was the glass of Rioja I had whilst watching telly ?
Anyway, I thoroughly enjoy my run. I'm heading back down the coast and decide I'll stop at co-op to grab some coke. 10.5 miles down at an average pace of 7:48 per mile and it felt really comfortable so that's a good sign.
Nip into co-op and my choice is a 500ml bottle of coke for £1.85 or 1.5 litres of coke for £1.75, I mean I'm no accountant but I figure the £1.75 is a better deal. I'll check this later with Ben as he's good with numbers and stuff and he tells me he has a big calculator. I think that's what he said anyway, I haven't opened the photo he sent me yet.
Home, sit in the sun and drink some of my coke and have a cup of coffee with Marvin and then off to Aldi for the big shop. It's a good shop, we get all the essentials and more importantly I walk down the chocolate aisle and look at all the lovely chocolate and buy none of it. I'm a changed man.
Home, lie on the settee with a glass of coke from my big bottle that I've nearly now finished and start watching Despicable Me 3 and then it suddenly changes into a totally different film and 2 hours have just disappeared. Gail trys to tell me I fell asleep but I think it's something more sinister than that, Trumps probably involved somehow.
Or Ben.
Then in the evening my wife says those words every husband loves to hear. "Shall we go the pub tonight?"
Yes, yes Gail we should go to the pub, we should always go to the pub. Couple of pints sitting outside Split Chimp and then home to watch an awful movie that I have no idea what it was called or really what happened. There was a waitress in a Diner in it and people got killed, that was about it.
I finally got round to sorting all my marathon blogs into one place.
You can read about Kielder, London , Amsterdam, York and Manchester and you can enjoy my tales of my sausage dog nemesis, Bilbo, Ben, Bain pissing himself, parties, gigs, pizzas, red wine and I even occasionally talk about running.
HAVE A READ HERE