Oh Manchester So Much To Answer For ...

Manchester (again) Week Three

Oh Manchester, So Much To Answer For
Week 3

Well, it's that time once again and it only feels like Amsterdam was 5 minutes ago, but here we go again ...

The week in numbers ...
Miles ran: 60.15
Gym visits: 0
Chocolate eaten:
Alcohol drunk: 1 bottle of red

Weight: 11st11lb

Monday 12th January

Rest day although I quite fancy going for a run.

But I don't. I'm sensible.

So today I nip into Whitley Bay to pick some things up and as always swing by a couple of charity shops, I love charity shops. I buy most of my clothes in charity shops or from Vinted or eBay, I like retro and vintage stuff that nobody else has so it's the best place to shop. I also buy records, yeah I know crazy eh! I don't talk about it much so most people have no idea what an absolute boring geek I am.

Anyway, pop into a shop, loads of new vinyl, 99% of it crap as always but then I come across a stash of dance 12" records. Not my usual genre and most of it looked awful but they were cheap and I pick up a white label with no markings on it and think what the hell, it's a quid.

Come home, give it a clean and stick it on. It's the same song on 3 times, two shorter remixes and then one 7/8 minute long dance remix. I Shazam it and even Shazam has no idea what it is but it's shit and I mean properly shit, shitter than Abba.

I end up having to Google the lyrics and eventually find it. Oh yeah I've got the DJ promo white label copy of Sid Owen & Patsy Palmer's 1995 release of 'Better Believe It's which was the official record of Children of Need and reached number 60 in the charts.

This gives a fantastic indication of just how awful it is, a charity record with two of Britain's biggest TV starts of the time for one of the biggest TV charity shows and it could t even break the top 60, it lasted one week in the top 75 and I've done some research. The charts that week also had the cast of Coronation Street at no 35, Mr Blobby at no 36, Gary Glitter at no 50 and Dorothy with What's That Tune Doo Doo Doo Doo at number 31.

Imagine being in a club and the DJ picks up a white label, the dancefloor is rammed, he slips it on and he's expecting the Chemical Brothers and instead put come the dulcit tones of Ricky and Bianca.

A 7 minute fucking remix of Ricky and Bianca.

Think I'll frisbee it out the front door later, see if I can recreate the bin lid toss and clear a house.

Tuesday 13th January

Yesterday's vinyl disappointment is eased somewhat today when I pick up the official soundtrack of Moana on vinyl.

I have no shame, my love of Moana is well known.

Every turn I take, every trail I track

Every path I make, every road leads back

To the place I know, where I cannot go, where I long to be

This is going to get played a lot and very loudly, I may also have a little cry when it's on.

See the line where the sky meets the sea?

It calls me

And no one knows, how far it goes

If the wind in my sail on the sea stays behind me

One day I'll know

If I go, there's just no telling how far I'll go

Back to running, that's what this blogs supposed to be about. Track tonight and the superb 400 reducing recovery session that everyone loves and I'm in B team, I have to be or Wendy will tell me off again.

The session is superb, I felt great from the off but I've seriously messed up my outfit. I start peeling off layers at about rep 6, we get down to 20 sec recovs and I've lost my jacket, thick long sleeve top, thin long sleeve top and cap. I'm thinking at 15 I'll lose my t shirt, 10 the tights are coming off, 5 and the shoes are gone and I'm finishing the 800 in my socks.

Just my socks.

I mention this to the group and they look a little worried, I think this is why they all overtake me for the last 400, much safer being ahead I guess.

Wednesday 14th January

Easy miles day but damn it's cold out there.

Wrap up in 14 layers and go for double tights and double gloves once again and do about 4.5 miles nice and easy.

Head home and my fingers are frozen and I struggle to get my phone out to unlock the door. Yeah that's right, the little geeky nerd that I am I have a smart lock on my front door that you open with an app, saves all that hassle of having a key.

Anyway I get home, manage to get my gloves off and scroll to the 'bold' app which is a black circle logo and open it, stand at the front door for a couple of minutes wondering why the app isn't unlocking the door and looks different and then realise I've opened a totally different app, this one is Discogs which is a catalogue of all the vinyl I own. I realise here I'm doing my street cred no good. Last week I admitted I have to run round 'things' during runs and now I'm telling you about my vinyl catalogue system. Wait til I tell you about my new amplifier and high definition digital music streamer.

So I close the app, open the correct app and open the door. This incident reminds me of when the kids were small and I was sleep deprived and usually operating entirely on coffee. I once stood for 5 minutes trying to switch the digital radio on and it kept beeping and no music came out, after pressing buttons and trying to sort the kids I realised I had been trying to get the radio to work on the microwave. I also once lost a cup of coffee and couldn't find it anywhere, made tea for the kids, did the dishes, tidied up, put the kids to bed and then found my cup of coffee in the freezer with the post from that morning.

Thursday 15th January

It's threshold Thursday.

Today is a 4 mile warm up and then it's 4 x 10 minutes at threshold pace and then cool down back home. For once I get the running outfit right, I head out to Cullercoats as a warm up and then back to Whitley where I bump into the day group.

I let them all start and head off and then I start my reps. Plan is to sit around 6:55-7:05 mile pace, nothing daft but just get onto pace and hold it for ten minutes. It's two reps uphill toward Tynemouth and then two back to Whitley. I've planned it out so I finish the second rep at the Gib Rock, this means going up the hill at pace but I figure that's a good workout.

Rep 1 and I'm a bit up and down with the pace and keep going too fast and then slowing too much, after ten minutes it's down and 7:01 pace overall which is fine, recovery and off again. I realise as I start this rep I've screwed up my maths and there's no way I'll be finished at the Gib Rock, infact I'm bloody miles out and end up at Kwik Fit, maths never was my strong point. Rep 2 done in 7:06 pace which is 1 sec slower than planned but fine.

Then it's time to turn downhill and last two reps back towards Whitley. Rep 3 in 7:03 pace and last one feels good and I'm lifting the pace, nearly get wiped out by a good old extendable dog lead in Cullercoats and my shout of 'fuck me' was clearly heard by the young bloke holding it.

Final rep a little faster at 6:52 pace but all is good, home, shower, short snooze, half an hour listening to the Moana soundtrack on vinyl and then back to work. I crank up the volume when 'I Am Moana (Song of the Ancestors)' comes on and Gail walks in and just stares at me, shakes her head and walks out.

In the evening back to the club and a planned steady run with a few reps at threshold to see how my legs respond to it. I join E for the first set and then decide to move into D for the next few. After a few reps I'm starting to think I may have inadvertently joined C team as it's a bit quick but I stick with it. Home and it's a 19 mile day and my legs are trashed.

Finish the day with a glass of wine.

Friday 16th January

Dear God it's bloody freezing.

Wrap up warm and out for 4 miles easy, it's a bit slippy but there's no pace today so it's very easily done.

Home and the postman arrives with my high definition digital streamer, have I mentioned my high definition digital streamer yet ? It streams music but does it differently because it does it at a lossless playback level, another way to say this is it does it at high definition. A high definition streamer if you will.

Moana sounds amazing on it.

I spend most of the afternoon playing with all the settings, running through room set up and tweaking everything. I'm in my fucking element.

Friday night is takeaway pizza and not just the one bottle of wine, oh no.

I just have one glass.

I'm doing 16 miles on Sat and sensible Simon is in town and doesn't want to drink tonight. Well I mean he obviously does want to drink but he's being sensible. I mean I'm being sensible.

I do however eat way too much pizza and then stop because I feel physically sick.

And then I go back and eat some more.

And then some more.

I'm such a greedy pig.

Saturday 17th January

Alarm goes off at 6:50, awake and layering up as forecast says it's going to be cold and chucking it down. Have a cereal bar and a quick drink and grab some gels and out I go.

The drink is Coke.

The cereal bar was a chocolate one.

I'm wearing shorts, t shirt, long sleeve top, Montane jacket, gloves and cap. After 20 minutes I realise the weather report was wrong and I'm over dressed, after an hour I'm pouring with sweat, take the gloves off and 10 mins later take my cap off. The cuffs of my jacket are dripping sweat and I can wring them out, the cap I've put in my pocket was also full of sweat and is now dripping into my pocket so I take it out end squeeze all the sweaty goodness out.

I'm finding this run really hard, the plan was 13 miles at 8 min miles and and then pick it up for parkrun but I'm really struggling today. I've got no energy, even taking a gel and Kendal mint cake isn't helping, I feel totally drained and sitting closer to 8:30 pace. I head back towards Whitley hoping I'm coming upto 8 miles, my watch beeps, 6 miles.

I've only done 6 bloody miles.

I've still got 10 to go. I realise I don't have time to do 13 before parkrun so loop through Whitley and back on myself. I take another gel, it's a new one I haven't tried before, I take a mouthful and gag on it and just hold off from throwing up, give it a second and take the rest.

This was a mistake, my stomach starts making weird noises.

Arrive in Whitley on 12 miles, one mile short but it doesn't matter. The idea I can actually lift the pace for parkrun is a non starter, I'm broken. We start, I'm boxed in with Ben and Greg and it takes a while to find a gap through, onto the prom and get to around 8 min miles and the first mile is hard work but I can just about hold on.

Start the second lap and onto the prom, Jess catches up with me and drags me all the way to the finish. Thank you Jess as I honestly think I would have sacked it off and gone home if not for you.

Finish and I've done just over 15 miles, obvious thing to do now is run home and that gives me the 16 that I planned.

Instead I walk to co-op and buy a large bottle of coke and a pack of haribo and walk home and eat some breakfast pizza.

I need 8.5 miles to do 60 for the week. I feel shattered and right now there's not a chance in hell I'll be going out tomorrow.

Sunday 18th January

I've been thinking a lot recently about shaving my legs.

Why have you been thinking a lot about shaving your legs Simon?

Thanks for asking.

Well a number of my massage clients shave their legs, mostly cyclists and swimmers but a conversation this week about runners doing it made me think. I'm talking about fellas here obviously, horrible hairy fellas.

So what difference does it actually make? And more importantly how ridiculous would I look? And how do I shave my knees? What about the bits hidden by my shorts? Do I shave those or do I shave to a point and leave myself with a little pair of hairy shorts?

I have fairly hairy legs, not gorilla level but certainly a smaller less hairy type of monkey, maybe a Capuchin or one of those monkeys that are mostly black hair but have like white tuffs on their cheeks, I like those ones.

I google leg shaving. There's a lot of info out there. I discovered that it make as you faster, that it doesn't make you faster, that having hairy legs helps with sweating, that having smooth legs helps with sweating, that it makes you more aerodynamic and that it makes you less aerodynamic.

But the main thing I took away from my 2 or 3 minutes of research was that shaving your legs could potentially save you up to 2-3 seconds over the course of a marathon. Not per mile, just 2 or 3 seconds in total.

So we're talking here about a 1 second improvement per leg or I suppose a 1 second improvement per appendage. This raises many more questions for me, again is it just those appendages that see the light of day or is this more a weight saving measure so anything goes?

Oh I also ran today, should have probably started with that. The temptation to hit 60 miles was just too great for me, I decided to do a nice easy 8.5 miles to tick over 60.

I feel good, did the first 3 miles around 8 min pace and then start to pick it up going through Tynemouth. Then I turn to come back towards Cullercoats and Whitley and it all gets a bit silly.

I finish off with a 7:28, 7:01 and 7:11 miles and hit 60.15 for the week.

Nailed it. Week 3 all done. Roll on week 4.

I'm off to Google full body waxing now.