Oh Manchester So Much To Answer For ...

Manchester (again) Week Six

Oh Manchester, So Much To Answer For
Week 6

Well, it's that time once again and it only feels like Amsterdam was 5 minutes ago, but here we go again ...

The week in numbers ...
Miles ran: 63.34
Gym visits: 0
Chocolate eaten: Yorkie and an Aero, oh and a Twirl
Alcohol drunk: 1 bottle of wine

Weight: 11st9lb

Monday 2nd February

My right calf hurts.

I am blaming this entirely on running 370 metres in my slippers last night, was it worth it? Yes. Would I do it again? Yes.

This week is pretty busy work wise and also got the GP on Tues night and a big threshold session to squeeze in on Thursday. Even after last week's chocolate eating frenzy my weight is still on track but I'm going to try and be a little more disciplined this week.

Spend the evening watching some telly and sorting out some music playlists. I have lots of playlists on Spotify. I have one I use for work that's over 59 hours long. The idea with this is I never hear the same song twice in a day, basically it's an ever evolving list of songs that whenever I hear something I like I just add it on.

Sometimes this works well and other times not so.

A while ago I was watching an episode on Fargo and there was some background music on that I quite liked. I Shazamed it and whacked it on the playlist and forgot all about it. A few weeks or months later I'm working, the room is nice and relaxed, the scented candle is flickering away and I'm doing a bit of deep tissue massage on someone's back.

Music is playing and it's all calm and serene, the song changes and it's an instrumental intro, a bit unusual sounding but pleasant enough and I'm unsure what it is. Glance across at the smart speaker and don't recognise the album artwork and then the vocal kicks in.

Now in the past I've had this and a very sweary track comes on which is a little awkward, I once accidentally added Martha Wainwright's Bloody Mother Fucking Asshole to the playlist and hastily deleted it.

The vocal kicks in by a fella called Radik Tyulush, he's Mongolian.

He's a Mongolian throat singer.

It's Mongolian throat music.

You ever heard Mongolian throat music ? You ever heard it in a really relaxed and quiet room when someone is almost falling asleep with scented candles and dimmed lights?

Well I have.

The vocal kicks in at 17 seconds.

At 20 seconds he lets out a deep anguished cry.

A Mongolian throat cry.

Get yourself all relaxed, dim the lights and switch your brain off and then play it. You still won't jump as high as my client did at 17 seconds.

I decided not to delete it from the playlist, I like the sense of jeporday that it might happen again.

Tuesday 3rd February

It's GP day.

I have a superb handicap for some reason and a really good chance of another top 5 finish. I decide I'm going to eat sensibly today and really go for it tonight. A good warm up, turn up on plenty of time and absolutely nail it.

And then...

A glitch meant the handicaps had to be redone. I get moved back by 7 minutes. I have a bottle of coke, a cheese wrap, a bag of Doritos and a twirl for my lunch. Then Poppy gets a McDonalds delivered and I eat a portion of fries. I kind of figure it doesn't really matter anymore so may as well do something I enjoy and eat crap food.

6 miles easy run before GP, the wind is howling and it's starting to rain. I head to the start and promptly watch my fellow starters all disappear into the distance. At the Dome I catch up with Graham and Quinny and settle into a steady rhythm and start enjoying it a little more, dropping down into the bay Quinny shoots off on the downhill and me and Graham catch Ben. Loads of puddles down in the bay and I can't see any of them as I have neither a head torch or my glasses, I just follow Graham's footsteps and that seems to work.

Up the hill and Graham pushes on and I stick with Ben. You know there's a lot of shit talked about Ben, he's a good guy and I won't have it. Okay he did once knock a blokes chips out of his hands when we were on a training sessions and he didn't stop or apologise to him and yeah there was the whole parkrun incident when he saw an old fella go the wrong way and he didn't tell him just so he could win but apart from those two fairly major incidents and a few dozen more lesser ones, he's a good guy. I mean he can hardly be bad if Michael Jackson wrote a song about him can he?

Anyway, me and Ben

The two of us need look no more

We both found what we were looking for

With a friend to call my own,

I'll never be alone,

And you, my friend, will see,

You've got a friend in me.

We ran together and had a nice chat, then we dropped onto the prom and got heckled by Jim and Ben bravely said he'd plough on alone and I could leave him. I cried a tear and we embraced and then I left Ben.

Ben, most people would turn you away

I don't listen to a word they say

They don't see you as I do

I wish they would try to

I'm sure they'd think again

If they had a friend like Ben

And now without bloody Ben holding me back I lifted the pace to just over 6 min miles and ran the last 1200m

Home and another 10 miles in the bag.

Wednesday 4th February

Up early for work.

And then into Whitley with Mrs J where I treated her to lunch and a pint. The pint was for her, not me. I had a coke as I'm an athlete. Then I went to the shop and bought a Yorkie Duo and ate it on the way home.

Oh I also ran 5 miles easy today, it was of course cold, raining and windy.

In the evening had a glass of wine and watched some telly with the weird cat.

And then another glass of wine

Thursday 5th February

Threshold Thurs once again.

It's 20+mph winds and it's raining, oh what joy that I have to run 13 miles in this yet again. I decide I just can't face it today, I'm sick of being cold and wet so the plan is to do a warm up outside for 4 miles and then go to Waves and do the intervals on a treadmill. I get ready, don't bother with gloves as I'm off to the gym and head up Monkseaton Drive for my warm up. It's surprisingly sheltered here and I start to think maybe I'll run outside.

I turn left at the top of Monkseaton Drive and again it feels okay, I decide I'll head to John Spence to check the 2 mile loop Steve mentioned and see what that's like. It's windy for the first section but I figure that means the left turn could be sheltered.

I start rep 1, headwind, headwind, turn left and sheltered for a bit, then major headwind, then another left and no wind, final left and a tail wind back towards John Spence and then headwind for the last bit. Overall not too bad and I'm on pace.

Rep 2 and 3 are exactly the same, I'm slightly slow for the first mile and a slightly quick for the second and this balances out overall to an on pace 2 mile loop. I realise I'm running out of time and need to be home for work so rep 4 is going to have to be back towards home.

I head towards Foxhunters and again it's weirdly sheltered, I'm so used to running on the seafront I forgot how nice it is being a bit more inland. First mile down and then mile 2 which will finish with a headwind going down Monkseaton Drive. Rep 4 all done and on pace, easy mile home and 14 miles in the bag.

Back home, shower and then working for a bit.

Today I also discovered that I didn't actually delete Bloody Mother Fucking Asshole by Martha Wainwright off my playlist.

In the evening off to the club for lampposts with D team, this is roughly threshold pace again for me and the wind is once again utterly shit. 6 miles and home for a shower, glass of wine and a cuddle with Murphy and Marvin.

Friday 6th February

Terrible night's sleep last night so woke up today feeling knackered. Busy morning and then free at 3pm to get out for 4 miles easy.

By 2pm I've decided I'm not running. I'm tired and the weather is once again utterly miserable. I just don't think I'll get anything from a run, I'll hate it, I'll get freezing cold and yet again I'll be soaked through so instead I have a bath.

This has the same effect of making me soaking wet but in a lovely warm way with bubbles, scented candles and music and it's way more pleasurable than a run.

I don't even eat a massive bag of Frazzles in the bath not do I eat a small bag of Frazzles or any other potato, corn or maize based products. I told you I'm being sensible this week and sof at all I've had is a Yorkie Duo and a Twirl

Friday night is my favourite night of the week in the Jamison household. Kids are all home and usually have their partners here also and I cook tea, we blast out some tunes and we all sit round the new kitchen table and drink and talk and laugh and sing and I love it. I try not to drink as I do my long weekend run on a Saturday and this week I need to do 18+ miles. But I fancy a drink so will have a glass or two of red wine but I'll be sensible as up early tomorrow to get most of the miles in before parkrun.

Saturday 7th February

The alarm goes off at 6:45, I need to be out the door by 7:05 to do 15 and a bit miles before parkrun.

Up, dressed and eating malt loaf for breakfast and then an internal debate about what to wear. It's due to rain later so don't need a waterproof cap so opt for a normal lightweight cap, it's pitch black so sunglasses aren't needed and can't imagine the sun will be out later so leave those. Grab some gels and Kendal mint cake bar and I'm off.

Today's plan is down to the coast, up to Blyth and loop round the bandstand, then back to Whitley and up to Tynemouth, loop around the ice cream hut before the hill to the Priory and then back to Whitley and I should arrive about 8:55-9:00 depending on pace. I'm planning 8 min miles or thereabouts but I'm always a a little slower to start as it's dark, my eyesight is awful and I don't want to trip and break a bone. I'm old now and falling over is no laughing matter.

Although in saying this I still find people falling over incredibly funny.

Head out and up to Blyth and it's a bit of a slog, not enjoying it but get my head down and grind it out.

4 miles and my Garmin beeps and I take a gel, it's these new 45g carb gels and I'm not convinced with them yet. I can't stomach one straight down so this one's lasts me a mile of small sips and that seems fine. Heading back to Whitley and my pace starts to lift and I'm feeling better.

The sun decides to make an appearance, a very bright appearance and I can't see a bloody thing as my sunglasses are lying on my massage bed back at home, damn it!

Head through Whitley and past the parkrun start and I've got 40 mins to be back here. So that's 2.5 miles out and then turn and back which is exactly what I planned. Nice steady pace to Tynemouth and then loop to come back.

Lift the pace to sub 8 min miles and feeling good, take another gel and this one is ridiculously sweet, it's like eating lemon curd. It's lemon flavour obviously. I love sweet food but I struggle with flavoured gels and decide I'm going back to maurtens as they have no taste.

I decide to get rid of the sweet sickly gel by having a piece of Kendal mint cake which is essentially a block of sugar that tastes of mint. It works a treat.

Quick glance at the clock by Turknaz and I'm bang on schedule and just 5k left to go and I'm done and can go home. Well I can run home to get the extra distance. I weave into the masses at parkrun, there's a huge gap just behind the fast lot where there's always a big puddle and nobody stands here. I stand right in the middle.

Then we're off and the usual crazy stop start as people weave away from the puddles, I of course stamp into them with extra vigour to soak all those people trying to keep their shoes dry. It's a puddle, seriously. Run through it, get your shoes wet.

I'm annoyed now.

So you may have noticed that I get annoyed easily. I sometimes think about this. I wonder if it's that I'm a little antisocial, moody and bad tempered with an intolerance of other people?

I mean this would make total sense, little things annoy me, like people avoiding puddles, people not looking where they're going, people crossing a road Infront of me and seeing me but still walking directly in front of me, extendable dog leads, dogs off the lead running upto me, the actor Vince Vaughan, horses, yappy dogs, teenagers on scooters, teenagers on bikes, teenagers in general, the sitcom FRIENDS, Greggs, people who don't like music, people who say make it make sense, salted caramel, coriander, shops that don't do vegetarian options when you want a meal deal, pubs that charge nine quid for a pint of Guinness, Bradley Walsh's son that does TV shows with him, horses (again), the bloke out of Spandau Ballets son that does that advert where hes in a convertible car, when I run out of wine at home, cloves, reality TV, brandy sauce, rhubarb, cinnamon, pedestrians, people walking in groups, people walking in pairs, people in general.

Then I decide it's probably just because everyone else is a c**t.

18 and a bit miles done at just over 8 minutes miles.

A lazy day walking round some charity shops in Ashington looking for some records and then home, bath and lie on the settee and drink some red wine. I've eaten no chocolate today and only two small bars this week.

Sunday 8th February

I have a lie in.

Long run for the week is done so today I can do a few easy miles or take a rest day. I check Strava after last week's incident. I'm on 52 miles, it's good mileage and I'm happy with it but it looks calm and cool outside and I decide to go for a really easy run up the coast and do around 8 miles to get to 60.

I go for shorts, long sleeve top, sunglasses and leave the cap and jacket at home. Head out and see Ben and Ivan, the E team crew, Justin, Graham and Helen, Pete and probably another half a dozen people that I totally ignore as I'm pretty damn good at not seeing people. Get to about 5 miles and my Garmin decidea to switch off and reboot itself so I have to stop and wait for it to come back on, it's done this a few times recently. Carry on and I'm in Shields, decide to add a bigger loop and come back on myself and back to Tynemouth and I figure it'll be about 10 miles. The pace feels really comfortable.

I get back into Tynemouth after another Garmin incident and then I'm cruising down the coast back towards home. The Prodigy come on and I'm running 7:30 mile pace, I nearly get wiped out by a lady running towards me. There's a crowd ahead talking and I spot her coming and she goes to the right of the group so I go left and then she switches direction at the last minute and bang she's right Infront of me and I have to jump into the road I shout fuck and she totally blanks me, not a word, not a glance back. Bloody runners. Must remember to add runners to my list above.

Get to Cullercoats and spot Tony, Michelle and Gareth up ahead. I catch them and change my pace to run back to Whitley with them, this is a nice distraction as I was going too fast and I was pretty knackered.

Home and my highest ever weekly mileage on 63.34 miles. I celebrate by having a glass of lemonade and listen to some music and decide I'm going to keep a journal of things that annoy me and update it regularly.

Maybe make it AtoZ for easy reference.

A: (I'll come back this one)

B: Bradley Walsh's son.

C: Cloves, Cinnamon.

D: Daniel Bedingfield.

E: Extendable Dog Leads

It'll be a best seller.

You all though I was going to put Ben in didn't you.

Or Bilbo.

Well I dislike little Bradley Walsh more.

A: Artisan Food, it's just normal food that they charge more for, 9 quid for a block of cheese, get fucked, a fiver for Artisan small batch cooked crisps, give me a bag of frazzles. Twats.

X: Xylophones